I believe we can be anyone

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you like everybody else is to fight the hardest battle you can fight--but never stop fighting! E.E. Cummings

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Dancing the Divine

A few weeks ago, I went dancing with my Core Connexion group http://www.coreconnexion.ca/.  Whenever I dance, I'm not quite sure what is going to come up for me emotionally, physically or spiritually.  Sometimes it takes me a while to reconnect with myself again.  I need to slow down and say hello to my body and listen to what it needs rather than keep making it do stuff until I'm exhausted and spent.  Sound familiar?

I woke up that morning with a really tight back.  I was having back issues the earlier part of this year which has made it difficult to do things at times.  I felt a little panicked when the tightness was there again because I wanted to go dancing that night.  So off I went on my physio roller to stretch out my back throughout the day praying it would loosen up enough for me to go.  Thank goodness it felt better.  Not 100%, but I was able to go dancing that night.

We had a community of 18 dancers.   Just over halfway through the class, I moved into a spin which didn't stop for a whole song (not sure how long that was!)  I was spinning like a Dervish putting out an energy field so that people wouldn't crash into me!  When I finally stopped I had to fall to the floor or I would have really crashed into people at that point because I was so dizzy.  I started laughing like a child as I hit the floor.  My head was still spinning so I lay there for a while until I felt I could get up again.  I was in my own little world but I could hear a few participants join with me in my laughter.  

Eventually I made it up to standing.  I felt like a different person, more relaxed and vibrant.  A song came on (it may have been Deva Premal, I'm not sure), but I moved into a trancelike state flowing and moving like the belly dancer Goddess within me.  I didn't try to do anything.  I allowed the dance to move through me.  It felt so organic, so real and authentic.  Again, I was in my own little world not really paying attention to whether people were watching me or not.  I loved being in that space where it's just me, my spirit and the dance.

For many years I was a performer.  I was totally conscious and aware of my audience as I wanted to do my best to entertain them because it was my job to do so.  Things have changed somewhat.  I love and relish those moments within myself when I am oblivious to my audience.  It still means I know they are out there (so I don't crash into them!) but I am not there to perform for them.  It's in those moments that I feel the most connected to me.  Being in that space allows something organic to flow from within me.

Those kinds of moments can be healing for me.  When Shine is in town from Vancouver (he plays the didgeridoo either on his own or with a band http://www.centreforinspiredliving.com/dynamic.php?pageId=563), I once again have those kinds of healing experiences.  There's something about that instrument and dancing wildly to abandon that is healing for me.  It's so trancelike I forget myself and allow again the dance to move through me.  It's as if I am being used by the Divine as an instrument for the dance of the Goddess. She comes up through my body and soul and my spirit is set free.  I am free.  I am bliss.  I treasure and relish those moments.

Being in the city is challenging and I feel disconnected often.  It takes a conscious effort for me on a daily basis to find a way to connect to myself and the Divine.  Life can be so busy and full with things to do that it's overwhelming.  I sometimes need to get away just so I don't have any distractions to deal with.  Once again I have relearnt how important it is to keep that connection going.  Everyday it's about learning a new way of being.  It takes consistent practice.

It doesn't matter how you find that connection.  It is important to seek it out and to find it.  This way I can remember that it's in the simple things like being in nature, listening to soulful music, dancing, creating art and connecting with like-minded people where I feel connected again.  Maybe you find it riding your bike or going for a walk.  Maybe it's dancing, painting or playing like a child.  Whatever it is, take the time to reconnect with yourself and the Divine.  She is waiting for you.