I believe we can be anyone

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you like everybody else is to fight the hardest battle you can fight--but never stop fighting! E.E. Cummings

Sunday, April 11, 2010

What I Want in a Man (author unknown)

Someone emailed this to me a while ago.  I'm glad I kept it.  For those of you who have ever written one of these lists (I have and encouraged a friend to as well!), I hope you laugh out loud!!

Most of these "ageisms" are interchangeable from decade to decade.

What I Want in a Man, Original List (age 22):

1.   Handsome
2.   Charming
3.   Financially successful
4.   A caring listener
5.   Witty
6.   In good shape
7.   Dresses with style
8.   Appreciates the finer things
9.   Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative and romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32):

1.   Nice looking (preferably with hair on his head)
2.   Opens car doors and holds out chairs for me
3.   Has enough money for a nice dinner
4.   Listens as much as he talks
5.   Laughs at my jokes
6.   Carries bags of groceries with ease
7.   Owns at least one tie
8.   Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9.   Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42):

1.   Not too ugly, bald head okay
2.   Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3.   Works steady and splurges on dinner occasionally
4.   Nods his head when I'm talking
5.   Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6.   Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7.   Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8.   Knows not to buy champagne with screw top lids
9.   Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52):

1.   Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2.   Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3.   Doesn't borrow money too often
4.   Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5.   Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
6.   Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7.   Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8.   Appreciates a good TV dinner
9.   Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62):

1.   Doesn't scare small children
2.   Remembers where the bathroom is
3.   Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4.   Only snores lightly when asleep
5.   Remembers why he's laughing
6.   Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7.   Usually wears clothes
8.   Likes soft foods
9.   Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72):

1.   Still breathing
2.   Doesn't miss the toilet